Basically, I was completely clueless on how to be a hottie and my teenage years were sincerely dampened by this. I look back now and I can't think why on earth I put myself down. I make myself mad that I was constantly on a diet, how I used to resent the thighs that now I absolutely adore, or how I used to imagine hacking away at fat on my body to be a skinny little minnie.
And the thing is that I am a skinny little minnie, I weigh 8 1/2 stone & I'm a size 8, my stomach is flat and my waist is 22 inches- something that my friends get forever jealous of. The truth of the matter is that bodies come in so many different forms and the only idea of thin that I had in my head was the pencil thin, straight up and down effect that some girls absolutely rock. But that isn't me, I'm a little pear shaped and I have some serious hips and bum going on- No matter how slight I am.. there is always going to be more junk in my trunk that the straight up straight down skinny could never handle. My body is all woman. That is nothing to hide under a baggy jumper and hope that noone looks at.
I hadn't figured out how to make my face look it's best. I used to practise my fucking smile in the mirror, unsure of how to make my face look less disastrous .I hid behind too much black eyeliner and slightly orange foundation- like so many teenagers do now. I discovered makeup PROPERLY when I was about 18... and that is when my self confidence absolutely soared. I went from seeing my plain jane face everyday and being slightly embarrased that was all I had... to all of a sudden being surrounded by potions and lotions and It was complete heaven. It was like putting on a mask and with it on I felt like I owned every room that I walked in. My freshly blushed cheeks and carefully made up eyes captured attention and for the first time in my life I actually felt beautiful.
It shouldn't have taken me 18 years to get to the point where I looked at myself and thought I looked pretty. Only in the last six months have I felt that I am allowed to be beautiful. I should have known that all my life and I should not have spent my teenage years crippled with self loathing and self doubt. Now, when I get ready in the morning, I do it with confidence. I do my makeup before I do anything else & then I feel ready to face the day. I enjoy dressing for my body shape... balancing my shoulders with my hips and ensuring that my waist is pulled in. When I leave the house in the morning, I feel like I look a million dollars and thats is all that matters. I do not give a flying fuck what anyone thinks of me, because who are they to judge me? I'm the only person who has to live in my body so MY opinon is the main one.
I want every girl, every woman, every member of our gorgeous sexy gender to realise how AMAZING they are. To get ready in the morning to suit themselves and be as individual or mainstream or girly or hipster or WHATEVER as they please.
There are so many types of gorgeous. I don't give a fuck if you're 7 stone or 17 stone or whatever. You are you and that is fucking awesome. I want you to wake up in the morning and look in that mirror and think 'Damn, Girl', from those eyes to those cheekbones or lips or hair, you all have a best quality- something that you know that every single person you see today will notice and think 'Damn, Girl'. Instead of thinking of those things that you hate and despise and hope to God will go away- just accept that they are there and they are as brilliant as the rest of you. Those completely rad features you are owning are making mens balls jump up all over the country... because you are woman and you are fucking hot. Basically I'm suggesting we ignore the things we dislike and focus on our banging features WHICH WE ALL HAVE. Seriously, don't believe me... send me a photo and i'll let you in on your beauty secrets.
I have so much love for you all. Every blog that I follow, every follower that I have. I admire your confidence in posting pictures of yourself in a public domain and I appreciate the kind words that get left in comments. Look after yourselves, be healthy.... don't ruin your body for the needs of others. Be happy... don't let others drag you down. Fucking own yourself.
Ps- I'm probably not going to have much opportunity to write here over the next three weeks due to it being my end of module assignment, I have a serious amount of work to do. If anyone fancies guest posting for me, I would appreciate it- drop me an email at email@example.com or just comment here. Whether you blog or not, your contribtion will only be an added bonus to this space.