Sunday, 9 September 2012

Why you need to think that you are fucking beautiful.

picture source
So, as some of you know, I haven't always been the most confident girl. At school I was quite shy and painfully insecure. I was beyond awkward and didn't know how to do my hair or my makeup effectively. I didn't know how to dress to suit my curvy little figure and I couldn't quite master the effortless cool that so many seem to portray. 

Basically, I was completely clueless on how to be a hottie and my teenage years were sincerely dampened by this. I look back now and I can't think why on earth I put myself down. I make myself mad that I was constantly on a diet, how I used to resent the thighs that now I absolutely adore, or how I used to imagine hacking away at fat on my body to be a skinny little minnie. 

And the thing is that I am a skinny little minnie, I weigh 8 1/2 stone & I'm a size 8, my stomach is flat and my waist is 22 inches- something that my friends get forever jealous of. The truth of the matter is that bodies come in so many different forms and the only idea of thin that I had in my head was the pencil thin, straight up and down effect that some girls absolutely rock. But that isn't me, I'm a little pear shaped and I have some serious hips and bum going on- No matter how slight I am.. there is always going to be more junk in my trunk that the straight up straight down skinny could never handle. My body is all woman. That is nothing to hide under a baggy jumper and hope that noone looks at. 

I hadn't figured out how to make my face look it's best. I used to practise my fucking smile in the mirror, unsure of how to make my face look less disastrous .I hid behind too much black eyeliner and slightly orange foundation- like so many teenagers do now. I discovered makeup PROPERLY when I was about 18... and that is when my self confidence absolutely soared. I went from seeing my plain jane face everyday and being slightly embarrased that was all I had... to all of a sudden being surrounded by potions and lotions and It was complete heaven. It was like putting on a mask and with it on I felt like I owned every room that I walked in. My freshly blushed cheeks and carefully made up eyes captured attention and for the first time in my life I actually felt beautiful. 

It shouldn't have taken me 18 years to get to the point where I looked at myself and thought I looked pretty. Only in the last six months have I felt that I am allowed to be beautiful. I should have known that all my life and I should not have spent my teenage years crippled with self loathing and self doubt. Now, when I get ready in the morning, I do it with confidence. I do my makeup before I do anything else & then I feel ready to face the day. I enjoy dressing for my body shape... balancing my shoulders with my hips and ensuring that my waist is pulled in. When I leave the house in the morning, I feel like I look a million dollars and thats is all that matters. I do not give a flying fuck what anyone thinks of me, because who are they to judge me? I'm the only person who has to live in my body so MY opinon is the main one. 

I want every girl, every woman, every member of our gorgeous sexy gender to realise how AMAZING they are. To get ready in the morning to suit themselves and be as individual or mainstream or girly or hipster or WHATEVER as they please.

There are so many types of gorgeous. I don't give a fuck if you're 7 stone or 17 stone or whatever. You are you and that is fucking awesome. I want you to wake up in the morning and look in that mirror and think 'Damn, Girl', from those eyes to those cheekbones or lips or hair, you all have a best quality- something that you know that every single person you see today will notice and think 'Damn, Girl'. Instead of thinking of those things that you hate and despise and hope to God will go away- just accept that they are there and they are as brilliant as the rest of you. Those completely rad features you are owning are making mens balls jump up all over the country... because you are woman and you are fucking hot. Basically I'm suggesting we ignore the things we dislike and focus on our banging features WHICH WE ALL HAVE. Seriously, don't believe me... send me a photo and i'll let you in on your beauty secrets. 

I have so much love for you all. Every blog that I follow, every follower that I have. I admire your confidence in posting pictures of yourself in a public domain and I appreciate the kind words that get left in comments. Look after yourselves, be healthy.... don't ruin your body for the needs of others. Be happy... don't let others drag you down. Fucking own yourself. 
Ps- I'm probably not going to have much opportunity to write here over the next three weeks due to it being my end of module assignment, I have a serious amount of work to do. If anyone fancies guest posting for me, I would appreciate it- drop me an email at poppy839@gmail.com or just comment here. Whether you blog or not, your contribtion will only be an added bonus to this space.

11 comments:

  1. What a wonderful post.

    I've lived in my own world as far as physical confidence in my looks until recently. I recently went through an extremely distressing period where I could not love what I saw in the mirror and it affected me. I could still get full marks on an English essay, but despite my boyfriend's reassurance, I felt totally undesirable and isolated in my insecurity.

    I have been considerably better in recent months, but your post is so emotive and I know if I'd read this six months ago, my perspective would have been more fresh and assured.

    Thank you for sharing with this (mostly) very positive community x

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    1. And an equally wonderful response!

      lack of confidence can be a very isolating event I completely agree. It is hard to voice your concerns when you feel that other people probably actually agree with what you are thinking. There is nothing worse than being too scared to say 'I think i'm ugly/fat/boring' when you think the response will be 'yeah I agree'.

      You are obviously a very intelligent girl & I hope that you continue to grow leaps and bounds in terms of confidence. make sure you keep me posted on how your journey goes :) xx

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  2. What a lovely post :) I have always had body issues yet I am between a size 6 and 8 so people never believed me! For once I feel confident and these days I feel good about myself in a way I never did before.
    Also, I would be happy to guest post, my email is 0karys@gmail.com

    Karys x
    whoisgrumblebeard.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Thankyou sweetheart! I feel that, but it is never about what other people see... only what you see and that can be very critical- far harsher than anyone would ever say to you (mainly cause it isn't bloody true!)

      I will drop you an email in a moment- I look forward to seeing what you have to put here :)

      Also, a quick check of your blog- it's fab! xxxx

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  3. This is such a fantastic post. As a teenager I had serious insecurities about my body which led to a lot of issues and even depression as I was growing up. As I got older my confidence grew and I came to accept myself for who I am but it makes me angry that I spent so many of my teenage years feeling miserable because of how I looked. These days of course there are things I dislike about the way I look, and occasionally it gets me down but on the whole I'm happy with who I am and 99% of the time I feel confident in my own body.

    I think it's so important to feel good in your own skin and I'm sure this post will help anyone who's not quite there yet - thanks for sharing :) xx

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    1. I have so much empathy for what you have to say Kirsty, mainly because I have been through every single stage that you describe. Like you, I ended up with a multitude of issues all revolving from isecurities.. from depression to problems with eating and it is horrific. I am so glad that you are out of the other side & that we are both so much happier now.

      I hope to see your pretty face around here more often :) xxxx

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  4. This post is wonderful. I really envy your confidence! Hopefully I'll get there someday too. Good luck with your assignment. :) xo

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    1. Thank you sweet, I hope that soon you can realise what a wonderful person you are and learn how to absolutely rock it :) I promise it will come in time.

      I'm dreading writing my assignment, thankyou for your wishes!

      xxxx

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  5. This is an amazing post.

    I felt exactly the same as a teenager growing up and make up has started growing my confidence back. It's really hard to explain to someone like my boyfriend as I think boys will never quite understand the "pressure" that girls can feel growing up.

    But it's great that you feel much more confident now and good luck for your assignment!

    I have a giveaway going on currently at Sophie Rose, make sure to check it out!xx

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    1. Thats one thing that I hate- guys do not have the same social pressure on them as we do. They must be so confused that it is us who are insecure when we're the glambobs in the relationships & they're the ones who havent shaved for a week & forgot to buy deodorant three weeks ago!

      I'm glad you're gaining some confidence, you should have tons you little beaut!

      xxxx

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  6. amazing post, it's like you just told my whole childhood/teenage story. great advice for people growing up!

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