Sunday, 19 August 2012

How not to become a nervy stress ball.

Photo taken on the Florida Keys, April 2011 by me. 

Recently, you may have noticed that I’ve been under a lot of stress. This is something I’ve made reference to in several blog posts and about a million tweets. I don't want to be a Moaning Myrtle or a Whining Winona but it is so difficult to feel all the pressure and stress bubbling up inside and to not let it translate into text. Part of me wants to stick with the mould set out by most bloggers to show my face, my outfit and my instagram... without really showing the girl I am underneath that. But I can't deny that I am an absolute consistent ball of stress and I do need to address that sharpish.

Yesterday at the Spa, the beauty therapist told me that I’m way too tense and that I need to take more time to my self and chill out. On the after care sheet, the word RELAX was underlined three times. Yeah.

I'm not too sure why I’ve had so much on my plate recently, I balance a lot. I work full time, am doing my degree and try and make time for friends and family. I feel like I’m trying to be super women but those teeny knickers weren’t designed for me and there is too much going on to try and cram in. So I do need to chill the fuck out.


Last night I was trying to formulate a plan of attack to relax but I ended up frustrating myself by trying to make a PLAN out of relaxation. Surely the whole point of relaxing is that you sit there... relaxing. There shouldn't be an agenda for something that should come so easily. To me it clearly doesn't. I am just a girl with a mission and that mission is to do what ever I need to do to move onto the next mission. Like the worlds most boring video game: Continuously completing tasks and getting nowhere and achieving nothing.

It's got to the point where I don't sleep at all, because my mind is so awake all the time. I always have something to do and a list of things that I haven't done to berate myself over. Last week I literally had about 16 hours sleep.. IN SEVEN DAYS. The bags under my eyes were disgusting purple smudges and everything just hurt.

So I’m going to continue trying to relax and de-stress and not take the weight of the world on my shoulders. This afternoon I read a book for a whole hour, I didn't try and read and reorganise my life. I just read and it was glorious.

Is it possible to chill out without completing a task? Personally the only task I do to relax is read. Everything else I tend to over focus on. If you have wisdom in the art of R&R whilst remaining on top of your life, then please do help a girl out- I'm still pretty crap at it.

What do you do to relax? What would you sacrifice from your routine in order to get precious 'you' time?

Are posts like this even interesting, or did you read it like.. 'eugh, stop whining'?


  1. Definitely not a whining post. As much as I admire bloggers who are consistently positive, I think real life dictates that you're doing to have stressful times and down days now and then and if you can't moan about them on your blog then where can you?

    I struggle with relaxing 'me' time now that I have a babba. Even though we spend a lot of time in the house and chilling out with family and friends, it's still hard to fully relax because I'm always distracted by his needs.

    The only advice I could give you is to maybe shut yourself off for a few days, take stock, have a few early nights and let your mind and body recoup. Easier said than done, I know.

    Good luck sweet xx

    1. you always leave the nicest comments Laura :)
      I can only try that, I just feel like the guilt I attach to everything means I can't switch off from everything. But I am going to try as i'll make a massive mess if my head explodes!!


  2. Unfortunately I am very good at relaxing (too good) all I need is a cup of tea and somewhere comfy to sit and that's me for 20 minutes. However, I do understand what it feels like to not be able to switch off and sleep-if my anxiety or ocd is really bad I often can't sleep til around 4am when I'm too tired to stay awake any longer. If your lack of sleep continues much longer I'd contemplate seeing a doctor as missing too much can REALLY fuck you up very quickly.

    Other than that, whenever you think you're whining or moaning just look at how much you're taking on and what you're achieving and feel very proud of yourself


    1. ah thank you for caring sweet. I tend to go through spells of not sleeping so I'm not too worried, I know that once my mind stops whirring i'll be able to drift off- It's just getting to that point isn't it!


  3. I really love posts like this, its great to see the amazing lives some bloggers seemingly live but I know that underneath everyone has their off days. The honesty is refreshing, we're only human after all! We don't all walk round wearing walden-tinted glasses (little instagram pun there haaaa!)

    I understand how much stress leading a busy life can cause though, It took me a very long time to adjust to being a full-time worker after I graduated university because even though I did a lot of work at Uni I still had plenty of "me" time to balance everything out. Now I'm working full time its very hard to fit into my routine all the chores I need to do as well as finding time to treat myself. I found on my days off work I was so exhausted I mostly just wanted to sit around and do nothing all day but that wasn't productive so I started to indulge in an hours worth of self-care.. even tiny little things like having a pampering shower really helped me to chill out and set me up for the day of household chores ahead of me!

    I understand how difficult it is to find the work/life balance, I'm still working on it but we'll get there eventually I'm sure! xx

    1. thanks for your kind words Mel, I honestly thought the venting would help me to feel a bit better, but honestly it's the comments of support that are really helping.

      Having some pamper time sounds absolutely glorious & I will be TRYING my hardest to fit some in.

      I hope we get there eventually :) We deserve some head space x

  4. I'm the same as you in terms of not being able to sleep that much when I have a lot going on, but I've found that this Clippers sleepy tea (not it's name, I can't actually remember that right now) helps a lot, and it tastes and smells like Christmas.
    I would recommend watching a lot of cheesy shows, and the Clueless film. xx

    1. cheers for the reccommendation, I have ordered a packet off amazon to try... hopefully it works for me too :)

      I can never sit down and watch tv, let alone a film but I should try as I have a whole stack of DVDS in my to watch pile that are sitting there unopened! xo

  5. I have felt like this a few time in my life and they never last forever :) People say that exercising is great for stress relief. I always have excuses for not doing it but when I finally do exercise I do feel a lot better! and tired! ha ha :) I hope you start getting some more sleep soon lovely!

    Love, Rachel

    1. I hope it goes away soon rachel! If not someone is going to find me curled up in a ball hugging my knees and babbling on.
      Excerise is something that I used to really enjoy but recently I just havent had the time or the energy to go- definitely something I will make time for next month. xo

  6. its so hard trying to relax, when you tell yourself to its almost impossible isn't it!
    I've been having trouble sleeping as well, so i would try and give you tips but would be very much 'practice what you preach' as i don't do any of the so called helpful stuff myself haha.

    1. it is- i've been spending so much time pretty much shouting at myself to relax and getting knowhere- rediculous! If I find the magic cure i'll let you know sweet x

  7. Eurgh. Stress. Lately I feel stressed all the time!
    Sometimes when I feel stressed I just get into bed with a cup of tea and watch a film. Although that doesn't always work because I don't concentrate on the film, I'm constantly thinking of other things. So sometimes spending time with my Mum helps, just having a glass of wine and chatting or watching some TV.
    I definitely find that going for a walk helps to de stress!
    Take some time out to do something for yourself! Good luck :)

    1. I feel you there, I never manage to finish a film because I am too busy thinking about the next thing to be done. My mum definitely doesn't have the calming effect on me- very jealous you have that support!
      I never go for walks so I might start trying to encorporate one in- using it's just walking my sisters doggy & that is not a casual stroll.
      Hope you manage to chill out too maria, love ya x

  8. Found you through Rachel's lovely post she did, and really really like your blog. I love honest and genuine posts like your one above! Can't wait to read lots more from you-now following :)

    As far as the relaxation thing goes, I know what you mean. Im a new graduate thats just recently got her first time job and is trying to juggle those commitments with everything else, and finding I really don't have much time for anything any more :(

    My top relaxation tips are:
    -I watch tonnes of shows, and really get addicted to dramas (pure escapism)
    -baths baths baths!
    -create things to really look forward to, like dinner parties/spa day on the weekend/dinners with friends after work/retail therapy etc
    -massages and pamper type activities (both done at home and in a professional spa)
    -play with my pet rabbit-she really calms me and makes me laugh a lot
    -write to release stress, even send emails to close friends about how you are feeling and it's great to get some positive feedback on your situation
    -i bought an ipad for my commute to and from work and it's proved such a great investment.

    Wow that got long real quick! Anyway hope any of that helps in the slightest :P

    Just created my blog really recently at

    look forward to more of your posts soon! x

    1. what an absolutely lovely comment- you babe!
      I agree with writing- doing this post was very therapeutic, i'll be doing a follow up post shortly. It sounds like you've figured out some really good ways to chill out & i'll definitely give them a trial run- hopefully some will work for me too.

      I'm going to check out your blog now :) xx


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